The Road to #ALLURE
~BEHIND THE SCENES of my first Art Show~
Part One:
Preparing for the
Beginning
Daniel Johnston asks me from that
black and white painted wall on Guadalupe Street how I am. Well, my mind has
never been so taxed, so full of uncertainty; or at least, it hasn't
been tested like this for some time. I'm afraid of failure. I'm
afraid of being too successful and running out of product while on
the opposite side of the spectrum I'm scared of having to leave with
everything I brought with me in shame and unpreparedness. I'm afraid
people will walk by my display with indifference, ignoring me, not
listening to what my art has to say. I'm afraid my art will be
misunderstood, misinterpreted, and worst of all missed. I think about
all the reasons why I'm pursuing this. I am doing this for myself, to
get my art out there to a real, tangible audience. I'm bored with
virtual admiration and “likes”. I want to be encouraged
physically, visually, in reality instead of pixels. There is no depth
in animated GIF-LIKE praise, simply a spark of joy in re-blogs. I
want to have someone, everyone, approach my display, and take more
than just a momentary sideways glance. I want them to pace around
like I did around other artists' areas, to return after taking double
takes, finally purchasing something no matter how small. I want my
art to be accessible and also professional. I want my photos and art
to draw the eye, the heart, and stimulate the mind. I'm afraid I
won't accomplish any of these things, that I'll run out of money
before the show and not be able to attend, that I won't be prepared,
that I won't have enough frames, and that I'll be overwhelmed. I
think about being videotaped for the interview and worry about how I
will look, if my hair will continue receding, if I will gain weight
by the time of the show, and if I won't be able to sell enough
tickets; and the greatest fear of all is that I won't even be chosen
to participate! How am I, really? I'm happy. I've never been this
excited...
“Phase One” as I call it
involved printing copies of my “ATX” city drawing and buying my
own frames, giving it to friends and acquaintances to see their
response and hear their opinions, changing or continuing forward
accordingly to the overall consensus. So far, the print has been a
hit, but the frames need to be stronger, of better quality, including
the cover of plastic needing to be glass, and some kind of signature
or personal touch. I'm proud of how it turned out and wonder if I
should try a larger sized print, another company to print it, and
thankfully this experiment is fairly cheap to do and if it doesn't
turn out perfectly, well, I can always have it displayed in my
apartment!
PART TWO:
Prints, Sizes, Quantity, Frames & Prices
I am
only a week away from the official walk through, meet and greet, and
after party. Of course I'm nervous, more so about the video interview
and possibly having to explain my future plans. Thankfully, I have
one week to prepare because I've barely thought about the show with
all my money problems. I am confident in my
art, my photography, what I hope to present, and I am excited to meet all
of the people at the show, hoping to shake everyone's hands and maybe
make new friends. There's so many things I still need to do or have
done; it is overwhelming.
Along with all of these things is my
plan for a five part blog series chronicling my trip to
California. (TO READ THIS SERIES OF BLOGS CLICK for PART ONE - PART TWO - PART THREE - PART FOUR - PART FIVE) Part of me doesn't want to pursue this task since its
just another thing to add to my list, but it is a way to get more
attention and I'm so behind on posting about the trip. Also, most
importantly, it is a way for me to focus these next few days until I
get paid so I don't freak out about money and the show. I am so full of ideas, desires, vague dreams, aspirations, hopes, thoughts about the book
I'm writing. My mind is overloaded! I have the photos chosen that I want to display for the show, but I still need to think about
sizes, quantity, and then frames, sales prices, and display options.
It's exciting, but chaotic; beautiful, but frightening...
PART THREE:
The Walk-Thru
I'm
going to do this. I'm not only going to do it, I'm going to thrive,
be amazed, be happy, gain energy and passion from other artists, and
meet, be close to amazingly successful, artistic, and inspirational
good people. But I'm scared! I am shaking, uneasy, my entire body is
cold, and my palms are sweaty like they are running a marathon in
this Texas summer heat. I drank coffee to wake up and while it helped
to get my mind off everything momentarily, now that it's 6:15 and I
have to leave at 6:30 to find parking, GOD I'm SO NERVOUS! I can do
this. I will do it even if I have to do it afraid, shaking, knees
clicking together, and if my entire body is covered in sweat! I will
do this, I will do amazing, I will look great, I will impress, I will
be loved; I love myself, I love my art, I am confident in my
abilities. This is not a competition or a time to compare downwards,
but to appreciate the artist inclinations of other people. I do not
judge people's art no matter what kind it is or whether I can
understand it. I always seek out beauty, look for beauty in people
and in things, experiences, places, trees, nature, buildings, the
sky. I've been doing art and writing for as long as I can remember.
Photography is a more recent expression I've found in the past four
years. Music has always come naturally to me and I'm glad I've taken
up playing the piano, guitar, singing, and writing songs more
passionately recently. I'm here at this walk through to be genuine,
to be me, to be passionate, and to follow my dreams, to aim high!
What a life I've lived so far, and to think I'm only 26 and my life
has only just begun! I want to use every moment I have to follow my
passions, spending my time doing what makes me happy and to express
myself. It's almost time to go and my chest is tight, my hands leak
drops of sweat onto my keyboard, and as one of my favorite songs play
through the headphones I watch as the sun sets behind light gray
clouds hovering in a pale blue sky. I will do this, even if I have to
crawl into the Belmont on my hands and knees crying in terror- I
believe this is going to be good.
I will #NEVERGIVEUP
PART FOUR:
Prints & Frames; Frames & Prints
I am not necessarily nervous now as much as anxious for it to happen already. The walk-through went better than expected and was a lot of fun! I was able to meet artists I follow online and I sought out the coordinator to let her know where I wanted my display, what kind of display I wanted, and asked her some questions about the show. I am excited to see the artists' works displayed at the show and get ideas for how I can improve. My attention has been on the art show to such an extent these past few weeks, even for the past month, that all I've thought about can be described in two words, "Prints and Frames".
Aside
from all of the good things that are happening as I prepare for the show, I have a quiet fear hiding in the corner of my mind that with my finding a community I feel a
part of and complete within, I'll somehow be torn from it. Memories of failure swarm like angry bees within my mind and heart trying to discourage and frighten me. The bees settle down and the sunrise of effervescent hope struggling within my breast rises as through the honeycombed windows inside me I see that those same bees have created something beautiful, sweet, and savory; there is a honey (hope) within me created from resilience and persistence through adversity. As I
accept every turn of events, holding onto hope for a glorious future with my eyes lifted, head
facing the new day, I feel the winds of progress brush my face.
PART FIVE:
ONE WEEK LEFT
Anxiety
over the possibility of failure and success brings my mind to the
furthest limit of concentration. Over loaded, excited, frightened,
confident; I feel the length and breadth of emotions as each day
passes and I am brought reluctantly closer to “show” time. I
obsess about insignificant and random things within myself and
situations surrounding me that have absolutely no baring or weight in
relation to the show. Today I sealed the wrapped 5x7
prints of photos, original mat board artwork, and my 8.5x11 art
prints. I went to Hobby Lobby and got permanent labels on which I
wrote the titles, prices, and my signature. It feels so official, professional, and serious now;
I'm not complaining and I understand and welcome the fact that this
is only just the beginning. The horizon has expanded in ways I'd
never imagined or dared to hope for. I would never have thought I'd be displaying my photography and art at an art show, seriously, I've never even considered it as a possibility and now it's happening! Even as my mind is consumed with
the items I still need for the show, the details I've yet to work
out, and the official final design of the display, I've continued to
seek out and I've found beauty and good in nature, people, and art.
PART SEVEN:
03 MORE DAYS
I drive home on the underside of the freeway at
sunrise and see the Moon. It is a kind of spiritual experience seeing
that ivory body hovering close enough to our planet to see the
valleys and bruises on its surface. Lighting our darkest night and
greeting us every clear day. I can see the moon from down here.
All I
need are two more big prints, two 5x7 frames and I'll be
completely done and ready for the art show Thursday. It's Monday
morning. I received the PAYPAL HERE attachment for my friend's smart phone, a bin
to carry everything in as well as to support my three beautiful woven
bins containing my wrapped prints, and everything framed and ready for the
great production. Oh, and I have about 1,000 zip ties! Can't ever be too prepared.
PART EIGHT:
THREE DAYS AFTER
Where
do you go when you suddenly fall silent and your eyes stare off into
space? Where does your mind wander off to when you sink into that
dark place? When I am among people or hanging out with friends I try
and clear my mind of all my thoughts, ideas, and daydreams so that I
can devote my full attention to what I consider one of the many
beautiful and important things in life: other people. I am a lover of
nature, I enjoy the outdoors. I almost worship the beauty and
intricate details of architecture. There is rarely a moment in my day
when I don't have music playing and I try to devote about one hour a
day to playing the piano, working on songs I've written in the past
ten years. I enjoy the company of animals either wild or domestic and
appreciate their unique view on life. I admire all kinds of art and
like to stand in silent reverence before canvases or framed art
pieces at art shows, galleries, or in homes. Nothing is more precious
to me than people, human life, and this is why whenever I'm with
another person in my car I turn off the music or keep it low so that
we can talk. This is why when I listen I try to be as active a
listener as I can be and show the other person that I care about what
they are saying, because I do. Three days after my very first show
displaying my photography and some pieces of art, I am going to
attempt to write about the experience and what I learned, what I
sold, and the feedback I received from the precious people I met or
saw glancing at my wall of art.
What I
Learned from preparations for the show
I
learned that there are cheap ways to do things that are still
effective and successful. I learned to keep things simple and not
have too high of expectations while still holding onto hope for the
best. I learned that social media is a very powerful networking tool
and I have an above average knack for it. This was exemplified during
the Walk Thru when I walked in and knew half of the artists there
from my own personal research of all of their pages, flyers, and
websites. This enabled and emboldened me to go up to meet them, talk,
network, and exchange information and tips. I learned that there are
a lot of different kinds of artists and that at our core, everyone
is seemingly artlessly normal, average; we all have unique perspectives on life and a wide range of ways to express ourselves. I learned that
while I do hope to be successful with my art and photography, writing
and music, I want to keep on doing what I'm doing until I start to
make a lot of money from it, enough to live off of; until then I'll
keep working hard full time so I have a place to live, a car, food,
clothing, and use all of my free time to pursue all of my artistic endeavors. I
learned that any organization, in this case RAW artists, is like a
glob of clay; basically, success or failure is dependent on the artist and how we/they/I use and work with what we are provided. I went to the walk
through fully prepared with an idea of the kind of display I wanted, where
I wanted the display, a rough idea of how I wanted to display my
works, pertinent questions, and a resolution to be a part of
everything they offered for free to the artists including video
interviews, head shots, and on stage interviews. I made a point of
seeking out people in charge and getting my answers from them
personally, introducing myself professionally, trying to make a
memorable and natural impression, and being thankful for the
opportunity to show my perspective and ideas through my art and photography. I faced my shyness head
on, told myself I'd do this show no matter if I had to crawl inside shaking, crying with terror. I introduced myself to artists I'd been following
and met new artists I had not been able to find online, I gave out my
business cards, and followed up that night or the days afterward to
solidify the new friendships and connections.
What I
learned from the show
I
arrived at the location holding a bin full of the framed and wrapped
art with my friend and helper Violet around 4:30pm. I had taken a
photo the day before of all the framed prints on my bed in the way I
hoped to display everything on the chain link fence wall.
With this
mental image and a huge amount of zip ties, three containers for
wrapped prints, and a handwritten sign with all of my contact
information, I felt confident and prepared. I made a point of shaking
hands and talking with the coordinator of the event and the artists I
had met at the walk through or online. After a short walk around the
location I began setting everything up with the help of Violet in the
100 degree Texas sun. Once the wall was completed, I turned the bin
upside down and displayed the wrapped prints, my business cards in a
holder, and the sign with my contact information in the front center.
Violet and I went indoors to cool down and meet other artists, take
photos, and about an hour before the show I changed into the outfit I
had planned to wear for the show. I learned that it is good to have
someone help set up a display because they can give advice, help
straighten frames, and their fresh perspective can fill gaps one
might have missed; everyone makes mistakes. I learned the importance
of confidence, remembering names and faces, organization, and not
waiting for a handout. It is not the responsibility of a busy person
like the coordinator to make an effort to get with you personally,
they have a lot on their minds; which is why I made an active effort
to communicate with them online, in person, and on the phone.
What I
Sold
There
are one or two things I've forgotten, but as of right now, I know for
sure that I sold a framed print of my Austin, Texas drawing as well
as my “TEXOZ” drawing. I sold an original art piece drawn on a
mat board and a wrapped 5x7 photo of the San Antonio Central Library.
I sold a framed photo of “ADORATION”. In total, I sold about the same amount of money that I put into the show to get prints and frames. I was pleasantly surprised that while
the displayed examples of my photography grabbed everyone's attention and
positive comments, most of the money I made was from my art!
Feedback
One
woman said my photography inspired her to continue pursuing
photography herself and she was glad I wasn't pretentious about my
camera (which by the way is a $99.00 Panasonic from Costco which I
bought in 2010). At the beginning of the show I stood on the side of
my display awkwardly looking around and up while people walked by or
stopped by my wall and looked at the wide variety of images. As the
night progressed and with advice from Violet I made a point to bend down to my stack of cards and
hand one to any and every person who took even a moment to pause before my display. After introducing myself and my art, I told them about myself, my
art, photography, and answered any questions. This, to me, was the
best part because I met a lot of really cool people and was able to
see and hear praise, feedback, and thanks from total strangers that
were all really kind.
Response
to displayed photos and art
My
photos of architecture interspersed with nature got the most
attention. Also, my city drawings drew in people who'd lived in the
cities. My original art drew minor attention as did the small wrapped
5x7 photo prints. My big framed photos seemed to grab the attention
of most passersby and I was able to give out a lot of business cards,
almost 100. I think I would have sold more framed photos if I'd had priced things a little lower.
Conclusion
I
learned a lot and this was such a memorable experience! One small
extra memory before this story ends is that I made a point to not
only contact online, but seek out personally before the show the host
and Emcee of the event.
It was funny to me because when I had walked
past her earlier in a rush I said, “Hello, Rachel” and she seemed
surprised and confused that I knew her name. When I found her in the
green room to speak about our time on stage she saw me and said
“You're Timothy, right? I knew it had to have been you when you
walked by and said my name” because I had been one of the few to message her with a copy of my questions and answers I wanted
to discuss on stage with her and also to seek her out instead of the other way around. It felt good to know I was doing the
right thing, taking initiative and being prepared. What a great success and
learning experience! I have plans to use my “free show” in
another state (reward for appearing in this show) at one of my
favorite cities in California – SACRAMENTO in 2015!
